Weaned off!

its been so long since my last post. but basically i just want to share that FINALLY i have successfully weaned off adam from mommy's milk. it have just recently happened. adam turned 2 in june and i was wrecking my brain on thinking off ways to weane off adam from breastmilk. its getting really painfull and adam demands a lot everyday that i became so stressed out. sometimes i would just push him away and explain "adam.. stop dulu ye. sakit laa". i ask a lot of opinions from mommy's that fully breastfeed their baby and how did they wean off. i also read lots and lots of articles to get more information to wean off babies after reaching two years.

while doing my reading, i've discovered that some mothers continue to breastfeed their child up until the child reaches 4 years old!! OMG..sorry i cannot tahan for another 2 years. i have to start NOW!

it was hard at first...but i finally figured out a way to wean off adam slowly. basically when i reached home usually adam would immediately ask for milk and i usually layan. so i change my startegy... when i come home and adam ask for milk.. i would give him formula milk..and make him drink with someone else.

 milk before bedtime is the hardest. adam cannot sleep without mommy and his milk..so slowly i would explain to him that now he is a big boy and no longer have to drink mommy's milk. and give him formula milk :) the first 2-3 days was the hardest. he will cry and cry and cry.. but after explaining again and again finally adam will stop crying and drink his bottle and automatically fall asleep by himself! tadaaa... mission accomplished! hahaha i was not hard at all. i guess the time have come when both of us are ready to move on and adam is also a big and cleaver boy :)

i did nt believe in putting all those grose stuff on your nipple like lipstick, asam jawa or whatever. and i also do not like the idea sending adam somewhere else so that he wont ask for mommy's milk. basically i think the best way is to explain and rationalise. our child do understand what we say to them even though they maybe do not know just how to reply.

hey..it works for me :) now bedtime is easier where adam will sleep on his own after having a bottle of milk. and after more than 2 years, mommy  finally can have a goodnight sleep alhamdulillah..

cheeky kan?

Adam @ 2 years old

weaning - 1st attempt

2 days ago was my first attempt to wean off adam from breast milk.

i know u will be asking me the "WHY" questions.. well for these past few weeks my B****t hurts because adam tends to bite when he falls asleep while drinking. and by having full set of razor sharp teeth does not help either! it hurtttsssss!!!

also the fact that my milk is not that much anymore..i mean i have stop pumping while at work so the only time for direct feeding is on weekends and also when im home from work. i tried so hard to maintain but well.. i guess its time to wean off. ive been complaining to my husband saying that when i breastfeed it hurts bla bla bla.. so my parents and husband suggest to start weaning him off.

i thought it was easy..

to start off, adam is an easy baby. i mean he's not fussy. he can take formula milk, he can drink from bottles no problem. so im not worry..but i was not really prepared to face what happen 2 nights ago. my mom said that to start to wean off, i must gv adam plain water when he wakes up at night. since adam is turning 20 months this february, he only wakes up once every night for milk. so..i tried giving him plain water..

he refused the water and keep crying and crying and crying...i read some blogs it says that to wean off kena "hati kering sikit" i tried being strong but to look at adam strunggle to find me in the dark for his milk and crying sampai tersedu-sedu really breaks my heart. but i held on... try to soothe him and ask my husband to try to soothe him but adam still wont stop crying.. i think after 40 minutes i crumbled. i gave in and gave him milk..terus senyap!! but still hisap susu sambil tersedu-sedu.. so sad right??

i felt like crying..i feel like a bad mother for trying to stop him from drinking my milk. i was afraid that he would be traumatised and hate me in the morning.. i could not sleep. i hug adam the whole night praying that he would be ok..

the next morning adam woke me up with a smile and hug me and plant kisses on my cheeks. Ya Allah..rasa sangat bersalah. i came to the conclusion that maybe both of us are not ready for this process. adam needs me and hey..its clear that i need him too. a little bite here and there i could endure kot..huu i tryyyyy... 

for now i will slowly give him formula milk for his everyday consumption. he will only get his mama's milk when he wants to sleep.. so step by step la.. yesterday when i try to give him a bottle of formula milk for his nap..he drank about half of the bottle and gave me the bottle and said "tak nak, tak nak" and quickly take position for my milk..hehehe funny.

i hope that when adam turns 2 in 4 months we are both ready to try again... pray for me guys~!

1 year

comes so fast.. last month, on the 7th of June 2012, my baby boy turned 1 :) no birthday party or cake.. just a simple moment with my small family in a room at kampung gajah,perak. why kg gajah? well, i was attending my induction and on the 7th was my final exam for induction. so.. we just sing n dance together in that room and somehow my husband got a lil present for my son when we went to kg gajah town (which is not really a town! seriously xada ape2. mcD pon xada!) it was such a suprise and very sweet of him. 

it was one hell of a week, my FIL was sick and admitted to ICU, i have finals for induction, my back was killing me so bad that i actually have trouble walking. mmg parah punya sakit belakang.. i was walking very slowly with excruciating pain. i will never forget that week..

anyway, my baby boy is 1. adam is by the book which means just 1 week shy from his birthday, he started to walk. i almost had a heart attack! heheh i was so happy and speechless when he started walking.. alhamdulillah.. big boy dah! he's such a clever baby. now he can understand instructions such as "adam, go and salam tok wea(his granpa)" then he will walk wobbly to his tok wea and attempt to salam. he likes to dance and sing. favourate song now is alif ba taa.. and he can actually sing along to it.. he will sing "aaa baa taa". he love love love bathtime.. splashing water on everyone! likes to membebel with his own words.. mulut sentiasa bla blabla.. org pon layan shj. eats a lottt.. one full bowl of rice he can finish on his own but x bam bam pon. i think because he is so active. panjat sana, lompat sini..haihh..cannot leave him alone even for 1 second. ada sj project dia. changing his diapers is such a challenge. mmg rasa macam F1 crew dah. kena cepat if not terlepas! sometimes we sing for him to just rilex sementara we change his diapers n clothes, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.. tgk mood :)

 anyway.. a lot of things and development happened during this 1 year. adam is my life.. i cant remember hows my life before him.planning a short vacation to celebrate his birthday insyaAllah..and alhamdulillah, still breastfeeding.. love to cuddle him to sleep, no feeling can beat that. mummy love u adam zuhair.. happy 1st birthday! enjoy the pictures!

 3 day old adam.. dah pandai posing

 adam @ 2months

 1 year old adam, bought him bottle air with his name on it

1 year old baby

 

 @ 1 month old

 going crazy inside the ball pit in Melaka

 bought him his very own pool.. loves bath time!

 @ 8months

 3 months

 morning everyone! happy baby~

 1st time @ the playground.. so happy. xnak balik

 kg gajah.. kesian dia..very lonely.played with ayah all day long

happy birthday sayang,.. mama n ayah love u so much!

9 months

lovin those cute feet~!

adam @ 6 months - masa ni dia demam n sakit mata. mama n ayah x tdo seminggu :)

adam with tok wea - very happy in baju melayu

adam n mama

adam & mr carrot - my attempt to make adam love his veggies hahaha

shopping spree @ mothercare

ustaz don adam

wow, its been a while since i wrote anything. caught up with life i guess hohoho..

just to share my adam's development so far.. alhamdulillah.. he is soooOOoooo active. saya ulangi sgt active! he can bergerak non stop sampai berpeluh-peluh. and masyaAllah he is such a happy baby. he laughs a lot and senang aje nak make him smile and laugh. he likes to climb in and out of stuff ie: his walker,baby crib,high chair dan sebagainya, so cannot leave him alone. nanti macam-macam project yg dia buat..he loves to give sloppy kisses kat mummy n ayah dia, he hug us tight if he is afraid, he LOVESSS bath time (even bought him a piyo piyo rubber duckie set for him to play with..tp gambar censord, xleh tunjuk!), he is curious about everything! u put one thing away, another object will catch his eyes instantly..he is soo clever.. he started to call me mama when he was about 5 months plus..i think very very soon he will start walking because he's been standing up and holding on to furnitures a lot!

he also knows how to "geleng kepala", he gives us the cheekiest grin just to melt our hearts, he loves his heinz chocolate biscotti for snacks, his favorite song now is twinkle twinkle little star -- if i sing that song he will sit down quietly for 2 minutes, then he run off again! he laughs loudly when he watch that squirrel from ice age, he loves that song from Rio the Movie...wah..so much to update~! oh, and that bruno mars song with sesame's street..lagu wajib before bedtime or to calm him down.

anywayy..he is the apple of our eyes..he makes me want to wake up each morning and work harder and be the best that i can be. he makes me think about the future and i love him soo soo much that nobody that compare can to it. i guess that me being mommy right?

mummy love u adam~!

ps: ni kes rindu anak masa kat ofis, hence this entry :P

TRY

being a full time mom,wife,daughter and also working full time is really challenging. i have to divide myself into so many selves that sometimes i wonder... can i take a break?

this morning, someone said something to me that makes me break into a thousand pieces. tears just cant stop falling after hearing those words..even now, its painful to think about. no one knows what i am going thru right this moment. taking each day at a time..thinking what tomorrow will bring. am i going to survive this? im working hard..i really do, but does anybody stop and fully understand that im going thru a really really hard phase right now. yeah, i look like im doing ok, but inside its like a thunderstorm.. i dont expect all these people to understand me..its my problem right? who will care?

but i am thankfull that Allah SWT is always beside me and my lil family. when we are going through the hardest time, HE will lend us a hand,even if its not much, but enough for us to move on bit by bit..just wait a little longer..im sure we will be ok.. Gods will.

but..to make such comments..saying out loud my faults of being a mother..subhanallah..i cannot take it. im trying my very best..i give the best of me to my son,nothing less...he is everything to me and what im working for now is for giving him the best in life and future..

whatever it is.. your words really cut me deep inside... i forgive u, but i am hurt..all i can say to you is that.. im trying my best. and if my best is not enough in your eyes, than its ok...

" when i see you standing there, wanting more from me...all i can do is TRY...."

Being "MOMMY"

Tomorrow, officially Adam Zuhair will be 2 months young. WOW~~ serious rasa sekejap :)

i remembered the first day we brought Adam home. he was soo small that i can just hold him in 1 hand. so light~~ after two days at home, adam was admitted @ DEMC for jaundice. i cried the first night adam was in the hospital. i cried at the hospital, in the car on the way back, while having dinner, trying to put myself to sleep and could'nt wait till tomorrow. it was HARD i tell u. its like losing your soul..serious. and i was determine to exclusively breastfeed him..so i diligently begin pumping daripada hospital sampai rumah. every 2 hours. i sleep only a couple of hours that day because i want to make sure that i sent enough milk for adam at the hospital. early next morning i went straight to the hospital because i missed him so much and i want to feed him. yup..@ day 5 of my pantang i spent the whole day at the hospital, feeding him every 2 hours. and pumping alternately. i want him strong and fight his jaundice! he cried the moment i step into the pediatric ward that morning..as if he sense that his mommy is here.. it was sooo sad seeing him under that blue light with his eyes closed with an eye mask. and when i left for the day..he cried again as if saying mommy dont leave me!" i rushed to him and breastfeed him one last time before going back home..the next day i was confident that adam can be discharge because yesterday his jaundice reading was getting lower. alhamdulillah..the doctor said adam is fit to go home...and my heart was complete again.

during my confinement, i was with adam 24/7. he never left my side. i just got accustomed to him being around me every hour of the day. he's getting bigger and heavier by the day. he was born weighing 2.6kg, when he had jaundice, his weight shoot down to 2.4. but after 2 weeks, @ 1 month, his weight is 3.6kg~! berkat susu ibu i tell u. he is stronger. can gerak2 his head, tengkuk dia dah keras skit.. im so proud of his development :) i can wait for his 2 months weight this tuesday~! hohoho. nak burp kan dia sebelah tangan pon dah x larat.

adam likes to wiggle a lot now. especially when his mommy trying to put on his diapers~! he will wiggle here and there and to the extent yg dia gerak ke depan and i cant tampal his diapers. he laughs and smile :) very manja..likes to be hugged.he loves to sleep on peoples cheast..especially his cik lia's. he drinks a LOT of milk and pantang nampak mummy dia terus nak milk! very clever! he also make the cutest "sad" face ever!! gerammmmm huhuu my baby is full with expressions :) adam is also quite a "celebrity" @ home because everybody wants to hold him, hug and kiss him. he is very lucky to have doating aunties, uncles and grandparents.

well, last monday i officially became a working mom :( so saddddd... i actually have to lapor diri before i deliver, but terdeliver before lapor diri. so..basically dah terlambat la. and my employer asked me to lapor diri after pantang..but i delayed until adam is 2 months. sedeyy weii tinggal anak if he is still 1 month old. he's too small and needs his mommy..so @ 2 months ni i rasa ok sikit because he is bigger and stronger now.. but its still hard.

at work, i could nt stop looking pictures of adam.. i miss him every second of the day.. i miss having him around cooing and wiggling like crazy hehehe. but i know i have to work to provide for him..xpe, bila mommy dapat gaji we will go shopping ok?! and i think somehow he understands that mommy have to work. when i come home, i will make sure that i will be the one to bathe him. and he would'nt sleep from 6pm till around 12 am.. i like to think its because he wants to spend time with his mommy hehehe.. so yeah.. thats basically the routine for this week.

also, been pumping religiously so that adam can have my milk even when im working. i am thankful that my husband, sisters and father are around to look after adam. he is such a good baby (hahahaa..puji anak sendiri) because he only cries when he wants milk or if he wants to sleep. setakat ni, he can wear any types of diapers, ive tried pureen, drypers,pet pet etc and no nappy rash yet alhamdulillah.. so yeah..so far so good..

being a mommy is the best thing that ever happen to me..i would nt trade the sleeples nights, diaper changing, cranky time etc for anything in the world :) thank u Allah :)

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